Friday, February 3, 2012

Introduction to an Anxious White Mormon Virgin

*Taps microphone* "Is this thing on?"

Hello world. My name is Brittney, and I am a 29 (almost) year old white mormon virgin living in Salt Lake City, Utah. And these....are my stories...

With all the hub bub surrounding Mormons in the media these days, you may find it hard to know what to believe. You may find yourself wondering how much of what you hear about us and our culture is true and what is total crap. While I make no claims to being any sort of Mormon scholar, I am an expert of one aspect, and that is the aspect of being 29, unmarried, and still a virgin. Some may find the fact that I have decided to talk so openly about this very private aspect of my life...shall we say..."in poor taste". But the way I see; if the Kim Kardashians and "snookies" of the world get to talk about how awesome it is to give "it" up, well then certainly I am within my rights to discuss the other option.

Now I know what some of you are thinking at this point, you're thinking, surely this girl must be what we Mormons call a "sweet spirit"...(translation): Face like a sack of frogs and body like a sack of marbles. You imagine that this must be the reason I have never "known" (Biblical term for had sex with) a man. And while I am appalled by your superficial judgments, I also recognize that in todays society, looks matter. And a "sweet spirit" may not find it quite as hard to stay pure simply because her options are limited. But to all of this I would reply that this has never been my case. I was blesses with a tiny waist and large....endowments. I have found success in the performing world including print, film, and stage work, and even more success in the dating world...kind of...By sucess I mean I have been on literally over a 100 dates with 100 different guys, and yet I seem unable to seal the deal. But we can talk about that later.

All you need to know right now is that I am going to be totally honest with you about what it is like to date within a culture where everybody is trying to "save" themselves for marriage. Believe you me, you have to hear it to believe it.

Stay tuned.

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