Monday, April 16, 2012
Nobody Wants to Marry a Cartoon
Have you ever been told that you look just like this celebrity or that celebrity? I have a good friend who is a dead ringer for Liv Tyler, beautiful girl. And even though when people say things like this, they just be being polite or trying to pick up on you. Still, it is very flattering when a handsome stranger tells you that you remind them of their Hollywood crush. After all, what person wouldn't want to meet the clone of their favorite star? I myself day dream about meeting a Shawn Ashmore look-a-like, who happens to also be a card carryin' Mormon boy. Chances are though, even if I were to meet such a man, he would almost certainly NOT be interested in dating me. Why? Because though we love to watch em, nobody wants to MARRY a living breathing cartoon character, which is apparently exactly what I am.
When I was just a wee lass I had myself a fair share of crushes. But it might surprise you to know that several of these crushes, if not the majority, were on cartoon or fictional characters. For example, Peter Pan, Captain Planet, The White Ranger, One of the Gargoyles, and All of the Ninja Turtles. However, since I was 8 years old at the time, I think we can chalk it up to childhood silliness and not delusional psychosis.
Childhood infatuations aside, it would appear that while everyone else is getting told they look like Liv Tyler and Megan Fox (I still don't get the appeal there), and that chick from Firefly, I am being showered with such connections as, The Mom from the Incredibles, Japanese Anime, and of course the most popular and often heard choice, Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon (pictured above). If I had a nickle for every time someone pointed out this similarity, I would be able to comfortably keep myself in penny candy for a LONG time. Ironically however, it would seem that my face, though perfectly suited for animated females, is hugely successful for movies, and epically repugnant for prospective suitors. Unless you count anyone who would attend Comic-Con...and I don't.
If the physical similarity wasn't enough to send them screaming for a realty TV show, then my line of work seems to be enough to cause full blown Bond Girl Binges. I am an actor, but ironically, or not so much, I am never cast as the leading lady or the beauty that the boys fall over themselves to be with, NOPE, more typically, I can be found playing the comedic relief in the form of the old woman with lentil bean bag breasts, or the ruff and tumble tom-boy who couldn't tell couture from cobalt. I'm not complaining about my parts mind you. I love to make people laugh, and I've been told I am not half bad at it. I am one of only a handful of women in Utah that is invited to play with the local professional Improv troops, and feel confident in holding my own against the men folk. I use to think that guys would admire a girl who was quick witted and could keep of in a verbal jousting match....buuuuuuttttttttt now I'm thinking that I might have been wrong. Apparently, I'm too clever for my own good, apparently I am too good at being one of the boys; not even my bosoms seem to compensate now. (My real ones, not the lentil bags).
At any rate, I'm proud of my accomplishments in the world of comedy and character work, even if it is only in Utah. The little niche I have carved out for myself suites me just fine on a strictly artistic level, but as you might have guessed from my earlier comments, it hasn't brought much interest in way of romantic inclinations. Can't say as though I blame them though....lentil bean bag breasts are probably not the most enticing of visions. I guess I just wish that men could look past the lentils and straight to my face.....which looks like a 12 year old cartoon viking.....I'm screwed.
Maybe Captain Planet is still available.
Posted by An Muse at 5:10 PM