Tuesday, July 10, 2012

First Blush

Let's be honest. I don't have much in the way of shame. I mean really, a girl who willingly titles her blog Diaries of an Anxious White Mormon Virgin? Who's bright idea was that? Oh wait...that's right.

And so long as we are being honest, I should probably mention that this title even gives me the "Ummmmmmm......k's" when I really think about it.  I know what I was going for, and I feel like I achieved it. I wanted something catchy and something that would make a person laugh and say "What the heck?".  Even though I will more than likely never gain any mass fame from this, I am proud of my little blog and grateful to those of you who are VFL's (Virgins For Life), meaning you have read every post from the get go, and I am grateful for the BAV's (Born-Again Virgins), who may not have kept up with me in the past, but who are resigned to be faithful followers from this moment forward. I am also grateful for the EV's (Experimental Virgins) who may not be sold on me or what I have to say just yet. And yes, I am even grateful for the VH's (Virgin Haters), who have kept me humble while simultaneously providing me with blog fodder.  You are all very much appreciated. I also appreciate when you advertise me to your friends and family via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and so on. Though I must say, I was ill-prepared for the promo moment I received quite recently.

A few nights back, I had the opportunity of attending a backyard concert in which two of my friends were performing.  They are both amazing artists and I thoroughly enjoyed the nights entertainment.  Like many functions I attended, this one was geared towards single Mormons around my age.  I, being single and alone, showed up at the concert, single and alone. There I sat on my little blanket on a beautiful summer night as I listened to the first of my two friends perform.  I had recently become acquainted with this gal through my side project http://www.theculturalhallpodcast.com/ .  She and I are both hosts of the podcast and I find her a delightful, beautiful and talented woman.  Tonight, was the first time I got to see her show off her musical abilities, and she did not disappoint.  Then, during a break between songs, she asked the crowd, "Do we have any single ladies out there?" This of course was met by a few hoots and hollers, and then, to my total shock she added, "I know we've got an anxious white virgin!" At which point she promptly turned and pointed directly at me.

I can count on one hand every time I have literally blushed in my life.  I have made a total fool of myself on stage before without even so much as a feminine pink-a-ning, never mind a full blown scarlet blush.  So when I felt my face begin to grow warm, I knew that I was experiencing a true moment of embarrassment. You could just hear the snickers and "Hu's?" ripple through the crowd. And though she made sure to add the web address where they could learn more, I don't know that it served to change anyones mind about me being a possible sex worker.  In that moment I thought..."Hmmm...maybe just maybe this was an ill-conceived title in a few critical ways".

Afterwards, my friend apologized about a million times for calling me out, and I assured her that I wasn't upset with her in the slightest, which is total true.  She did nothing wrong. Who knows, maybe my viewership will grow from this free publicity. As funny as it sounds, it actually felt nice to blush. It means I still do indeed have some amount of shame left. And even though the second of my two friends that were performing that night later remarked to me that he had a personal aversion to the word "virgin", I think I will keep the title for now.

Best part of this story; 3 min before she "called me out", a guy I had dated very very briefly once many many years ago came and sat down by me on my blanket. He seemed perfectly content to stick around awhile, that is until I got my shout out and the entire crowd knew that he was associating with an Anxious White Virgin.  I didn't see him again the rest of the night. Strange.


  1. Haha! This made me laugh. Probably because I'm the one who called you out. I love that you were a good sport about it and I LOVE the name of the blog. KEEP IT! I am sorry - sincerely - but I'm glad I could be part of your "embarrassing experience." I'm just wondering how many hits you got from it ;-)

  2. nothing wrong with being a bold lady. guess the guy next to you couldn't wear pink either... not a bold man;-)

  3. Indeed. If he stand the heat then....something something clever.