Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Mormon Trump Card

I love some of these pictures I find. I hope I don't get sued for using them. Hmmm......

Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you:

You meet a nice guy/gal and you start dating. Things seem to be going well, and you feel as though you might actually have something here; you even allow yourself to start getting excited a little. You're chugging along down the path of happy-dating-ness,  you have picked out names for your unborn children, and then out of left field he/she informs you that the relationship is now over. You are shocked, you are blindsided, you are so friggin' confused.

Without even realizing it, you find yourself blurting out things such as, "But why?" and "I thought things were going so well", and "You bastard!"....that last one might have just been me.

The point is, you want answers, and you are not leaving till you get them. These past two weeks have been the most magical of your life and you will be horn swaggled if you are going to let your future husband/wife simply walk out of your life without a valid explanation.

Be careful what you wish for because ask and ye shall receive, two bird in a bush and a gift horses mouth.

So there you are (again) and he/she is looking deep in your eyes when they confess to you that the reason they have chosen to destroy the beautiful future you had together was simply this....."I prayed about it".

Ladies and Gentlemen.....The Mormon Trump Card.

Now, maybe other religious people use this uh...logic as well, but I know for certain that it is a popular one amount the LDS crowd. I myself have used it, and have had it used against me. When you find yourself on the receiving end, you realize that there is not a darn thing that you can do or say after this card has been played. Truly, what could you say? "Oh ya?!, well. maybe you should go ask God again." The glory and the frustration of the Mormon Trump Card is that it can't be reasoned or argued with, hence it's popularity.

If you were to tell me that you didn't think it would work because I was too fat, I would be able to propose a radical tape-worm diet to rectify the situation. If she says it is because you don't make enough money, well, there are plenty of vital organs which can be sold on the black market. A single liver can keep you in Olive Garden meals for at least several weeks. But when someone tells you that they took the matter to God, and that God subsequently informed them that it wasn't "right", you pretty much have no room to bargain short of blasphemy.

Now I'm not saying that there isn't any legitimacy in this uh....reason. Prayer and personal communication with God is just that...personal. So for the same reason that it wouldn't work to say, "So you know Brittney....I prayed about it and God revealed to me that you are meant to be my wife", Oh yes....that happened; it also doesn't work to say that they are "wrong" in their personal interpretation.   Maybe God did tell them not to date you. Or maybe, deep down, they knew that they were just not that into you but couldn't come up with any "legitimate" reason to dump you. "God told me to" sounds a lot better then, "I dunno.....I just felt like it".

For this reason though, I believe that the Mormon Trump Card is like calling in sick to work. For the most part, if you aren't really sick, then moral and ethical standards dictate that you not lie. However, I understand that every once in awhile the thought of spending even one moment serving free sushi to a pack of entitled jerks is enough to make you feel sick and therefore by self-fulfilling prophecy it is so. Just don't abuse the system ok. It kind of cheapens the whole thing. And nobody likes a cheap-O.

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